Before I finally called it quits with experimenting with the Lord and experiencing him on a regular basis, I used to do something that I want to share with you. In my early twenties, any time a circumstance emotionally ushered me into the bleak arena of depression, I always raced into my room, switched off the lights, played a terribly melancholic song, cocooned myself in negative nostalgia, and wallowed in unimaginable self pity.
Thoughts of past events that hurt me deeply always lined up in my mind as I childishly re-enacted the pain and betrayal I went through with every single event. Looking back, was that the epitome of idleness, or what? My act of digging up the past from the grave of yesterday never failed to fatten me with grasps of bitterness. By the time I was through with this sheepish ritual that I find hard to believe I used to partake in, there were always two consequences. Spiritually, I had opened a wide door for the enemy to strike, and physically I was drained of valuable energy. The funny thing is it never occurred to me I was deceiving myself big time. How can it even have occurred to me when by all means I was always justified!
Unknown to me, my actions were obstructing the free movement of the Holy Spirit in my life. I was like a beautiful bone china teacup on the outside that was caked with so much accumulation of dirt on the inside! Spending quality time in the Word of God showed me the truth that eventually set me free. It dawned on me that love conquers all; that if I let go and let God into my wounded heart, then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will be my balm and portion forever.
I held on this revelation with so much tenacity as I liberated my past from the cave in my mind that I had placed it in for many years. With strength from the Word and promises of God, I was empowered to bury that phrase of my life in the grave of no return. Thank God for the privilege to correct my actions while I am still on earth. Many people in the cemetery died with their past very much alive in the cave of their minds. Some people are dealing with terminal diseases caused by lurking shadows of their past in their tormented minds. What of you my dear reader, where is your past? In the cave of your mind or in the grave of yesterday? Years later, I am lighter and feeling a lot better.
I am not as spiritually constipated as I used to be because I do not have things on my mind that are choking me into a stupor. I have learned to thrust my pain onto the back of Jesus because His word urges, “come o ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” There is so much to gain when we chose to resurrect with Christ rather than stay in the grave with our past! Thank God for the grace to share my personal testimony with you. Things happen in our lives for a reason and season.
No experience or pain is ever wasted. Someday, you will be in my shoes, using your experience to encourage others. As you read this message, if your past is lurking in a dark corner in your mind, please go on your knees and ask God to forgive you. After you do that, ask Him for the grace to help you get rid of it. With the help of His Holy Spirit, victory will be yours. Make a conscious effort to start decorating your mind with the promises of God for your future. It is more than well with you!
May Olusola is the Founder and Publisher of MannaEXPRESS.
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