By Pennie Murray

All of us remember specific childhood games we played while growing up--for instance, Mother May I, Simon Says, or Red Light/Green Light. Consider this: In the game of Mother May I (a.k.a. Captain May I), you were told how many steps forward you could take and whether those steps would be big or small. But before you took those steps, you had to ask for permission. If you moved without asking for permission, you were out. In the game of Simon Says, you had to do exactly what Simon said do. If you did something Simon didn’t say, you were out.

On the surface, these were just silly games we had fun playing when we were kids. But oddly enough, many of us are still playing the adult version of these games. We wait for the green light (approval) from our parents, friends, siblings, or children before we make a move. We depend on the opinions (asking permission) of significant others to determine the choices we make. In many areas of our lives, we do what “Simon” says at the expense of our authenticity. We play it safe. We avoid. We dumb ourselves down to pacify the egos of others. We act as if we don’t know what to do to change the negativity in our lives when, in fact, we do.

I can only tell this story in second-person, but I was David's wife for the last 9 years that he actively drank alcohol and for the 5 years that he was sober. This story is not about me; I am just the vessel that God has chosen to tell it. I will try not to be too long, but it's hard to know what details to include and what to leave out. I know that David would want this story to be told, if it helps other alcoholics.

By Robert R. Fern