Dear Mrs. Happy:
Do you think it is wrong for a man who is married to consider having himself altered (through castration)? The reason I asked was I was walking with my wife on the road and was talking to her maybe about increasing the number of times we are intimate per week—which, at this stage, is anywhere from once a week, to once every two weeks, to once every three weeks and has been up to three months! She told me that if I wanted to have sex more than we do that I should have married someone else, because “I am tired.” This just about killed me inside, because that leaves me absolutely nowhere to turn! I am so sick of how I feel inside that I don't know what to do. I never thought I could feel depressed, but I do. I would love to hear your solution!
--A reader
“Mmmmm…” That is the sound of Mrs. Happy yawning on a Saturday morning. After a week of hard work and general sleep deprivation, she looks forward to sleeping in a few minutes. Oh, and visiting Mr. Happy. Or Mr. Happy visiting her. However it goes. And everyone is happy in the end, if you know what I mean.
Many times I find myself wondering what the word “love” means. Does it really hold no record of wrongs even if you’re constantly afflicted by mental anguish and scorned with disrespect? Is it really unconditional selflessness that encourages you to forgive your offender 70 times seven even if they grieve your spirit beyond comprehension? Is there really love at first sight, or is love an emotion that develops with time and friendship? Last, is it true that love is blind and marriage is the eye opener?
Mrs. Happy is asked this question often. She is amazed, in fact, by how regularly it’s posed by believers. Then she noticed on a recent cross-country road trip the proliferation of “adult toy” stores set in tidy buildings at seemingly random places along the interstate. (Well, not exactly random. They are in remote places, no doubt ducking municipal zoning laws. See? Even the heathens know better than to invite it in their town.) And then she remembered all of the ridiculous “lingerie” and “marital enhancement” parties that have invaded Middle America. Sex toys are everywhere; someone in China, no doubt, is making a fortune off of it. (And mocking us all the while.)
Mrs. Happy recalls a recent time when, for about four weeks, she had very little interest in sex--and even when she did have sex, it wasn’t anywhere near as good as usual. (Which didn’t exactly make her excited about the next time.) Her health was OK, as far as she knew; she wasn’t upset with her husband; and though she was under more stress than usual, it didn’t seem like enough to dampen what is usually a time of refreshment amidst life’s pressures for her. Mrs. Happy suspects there was a spiritual cause--believe it or not, the enemy wants to prevent women from enjoying this aspect of marriage, because sexual pleasure is a force of great unity between husbands and wives. But to this day, Mrs. Happy doesn’t know exactly what was going on. She’s just happy she snapped out of it.
