By Pastor Faith Oyedopo
You are welcome to another segment on this column. Throughout this month, I shall be deliberating on the topic, making right choices in marriage. Choice is one of the fundamental principles of the kingdom of God. Whatever or wherever you are today is a product of the choices you made yesterday. Daily, you and I are confronted with choices whether to pray, what to eat, what to wear, where to go, what to buy, what to give, whom to marry etc.
Choices make a world of difference between success and failure, joy and sorrow, peace and chaos, life and death etc. The Word of God says: I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live (Deuteronomy 30:19).
From the above scripture, God has given you the opportunity to choose life. The choices you make in life are determined by the quality of your relationship with God. The Word of God says: For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Let me show you one of the ways of making a right choice in marriage:
Get Acquainted with God
Being single is a time to be more acquainted with God than any other time. It is a time to experience a closer communion with God. The Word of God says: Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace: thereby good shall come unto thee (Job 22:21). How closer you are to God determines how closer God will be to you. The Word of God says: Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you (James 4:8).
When you build a closer relationship with God and acquaint yourself with Him, it is only good that is permitted to come your way. And that good is a good husband or a good wife. The Word of God says: …Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing… (Proverbs18:22). If you are single and you are not married yet, this is the time you need to build a closer relationship with God and to develop yourself in the things of God. I tell ladies that are not married yet every time I have the privilege, that you may be single and useful.
As a single man or woman, if you will look up to Jesus and seek to please Him, rather than being concerned about a mate, soon you will find the right one crossing your path. As a single that is not married, what are you expected to do in your single days before you find your covenant spouse? You have to build a close relationship with God. I see everyone reading this article that is not yet married and is up to the age of marriage, successfully married in Jesus’ name. I see this year as your year of breakthrough. If the devil has said you will not get married, with the enemy alive or dead, you shall be married. Not just married, you will be successfully married. No more shame for you! From glory to glory is your portion this year!
What I am saying here is this: you need to build a closer relationship with God before you enter into marriage. Learn to enjoy a close walk with God. If as single, you read your Bible only on Sundays when you come to church, and after that you close it until next Sunday, you can’t build a closer relationship with God that way. If you eat your earthly food three times everyday, why do you think you can go without spiritual food for one whole day? I see God releasing grace upon you to be able to practice His Word.
You need to find a place to serve God in the church. There are several arms in the church where you can serve God. Don’t just be a bench warmer in the church; God rewards only laborers. He doesn’t reward bench warmers or onlookers. If you don’t belong to any group that is contributing something to the kingdom of God, go and join one and stop seating down there and warming the bench. From today, you will be a contributing member in the body of Christ. And as you keep doing that, God will keep rewarding you in the name of Jesus Christ!
I can never forget some years ago in Kaduna. We had a convention. One of the women came and she had trouble in her home. Her husband was ready to send her away. To complicate issues, she had no child. Then, she came to the convention; she said she told herself “I am going to locate a place to serve”. And then she went to join the Sanitation Group, those who clean the toilet. Not even those that were cleaning the sanctuary but toilet. God was not only watching, He was working and God was cleaning her marriage. The meeting ended and she went back home. Lo and behold, it was a new marriage and a new husband! As she was cleaning out the dirt in the toilet, God was cleaning out everything that ought not to be in her marriage. I see God doing the same thing in your life today!
You cannot succeed in marriage until you have succeeded as a single. If as a single, you find it difficult to pray and to read your Bible, attend fellowship or be in service in the kingdom, if your heart is not panting after God, the chances that you will develop these habits after marriage are slim. No serious-minded believer will want to go into a relationship with an unserious Christian. The Word of God says: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). I want you to know that a good husband, a good wife is an addition. Find a place therefore, to serve God and God will give you the right partner.
Making right choices begins with having a close relationship with God. If you are not born again, you need to surrender your life to Christ. Surrendering to Christ entails confessing your sins and accepting Him as your Lord and Savior. If you want to do that right now, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Savior. Make me a child of God today.