By Abraham Israel
Little did I realize how God sees my heart rather than my outward actions at that time. I was fully religious and used to think that because I was going to Church and attend all the meeting without fail, I am a good person. But inside me more and more emptiness began to creep in. Now I know why it did creep in, because Jesus said, ” 21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matt 5:21-24). So the more I used to build the invisible walls against a person to prevent them from intruding in to my life the next time, even something that they do the next time unintentionally would become to me a big offense and would make me so angry so that I would let the sun go down on my wrath (Eph 4:26-27). This type of hidden wrath against others gave the devil a strong foothold in my life.
But God had better plan for my life, He allowed a thyroid malfunction to happen. And unknowingly when I had a very strong and healthy body, in my late teens hyper thyroid began to happen to me. It increased and increased without me knowing that it was happening. All the following symptoms struck me heavily, appetite change (decrease or increase), difficulty sleeping (insomnia), fatigue, heart palpitations, heat intolerance, increased sweating, irritability, mental disturbances, muscle weakness, nervousness, sudden paralysis, tremor/shakiness, vision changes, weight loss-but perhaps weight gain, dizziness, itching and hives etc…. You should know that it wrecked my self life completely.
I began to be extremely get irritated for even some silly reasons. This made me understand that I have become so foolish to act like this. Then at the highest point of my crisis God met me and began to teach me about anger management. The first thing he taught me through the crisis was to trust in Him at all times [i.e. it includes the bad times we face under the chastening hand of the Lord for our eternal good (Heb 12:4-7, 9-11)] (Psa 62:8). Then I asked the Lord to help me overcome such anger which I usually allowed to become a wrathful attitude against others. The Lord started to quicken His word and began to teach me to renew my mind (Psa 119:154; 80:18; Rom 12:2).
The Lord quickened this word in James 1:19-20, ” 19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” I understood that my anger never produced any righteousness of God instead it only produced self-righteousness of men in me, it was allowed by me in such a way that it transformed itself from being earthly [i.e. natural], sensual [i.e. preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly] and then finally became demonic (James 3:14-16). So the next time I became angry, I said in a low voice and muttered to myself again and again saying, ‘Hey Abraham, Be quick to hear , slow to speak and slow to anger, because your anger does not produce the righteousness of God.’ Suddenly the Holy Spirit would take control of my mouth and I would not say what I intended to say just moments before. After a brief time, I would realize what destruction and death my words would have caused if the Holy Spirit had not restrained me. Then after each time of victory, I would thank the Lord and praise Him!!!
Then I began to wage spiritual warfare in the next level where I would get stirred up to speak something in a uncontrolled way when someone would act mean to me through demonic influence. Then I said to the Lord like the Psalmist David, “I will guard my ways, lest I sin with my tongue; I will restrain my mouth with a muzzle, while the wicked are before me.” (Psa 39:1). Then God taught me this prayer that brought amazingly supernatural results to me. It was a quickened word from Psa 141:3which says, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.” In other words it is a prayer that avails a supernatural angelic guard from heaven to be placed over our mouth. I praise God whenever I was pulled to my elastic limit to blurt out words, I would supernaturally be made dumb with a good smile on my face. After such time of supernatural intervention, I would think about what would have happened if I would have spoken instead of staying the way I was by God’s help, then I would thank and praise the Lord for His angelic guard over my lips.
Then some times, I would not like the way people would act and instead of reacting with words I would be led to act as innocent. Then after that period of time when I would ask God why I was so dumb with out words when I could have spoken a word or two to reveal that I was displeased with their talk or action. Then God would tell me that if I had spoken the way I wanted to, I would not have really known the inner nature of people. When we do not react, then people open up whatever is in their heart. When we talk reactively, nobody will open up their heart. Some people will speak partly good and partly evil, still others full of good things and some full of evil things which will reflect the true condition and motives of their heart, which also makes them who they are before the eyes of God (Luke 6:45). So we become wise when we keep our mouth zipped as the Scripture also says, “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.” (Prov 19:11) and “A wise man holds his tongue. Only a fool blurts out everything he knows; that only leads to trouble and sorrow. The more you talk the more likely you are to sin. If you are wise you will keep quiet.” (Prov 10:14, 19).
“The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust” – Josh Billings
By Abraham Israel – http://apostolicrevelation.blogspot.com.