As much as the child struggles to deny, minimize, bargain with and co-exist with the abuse, the impact of chronic trauma seeps into the deep recesses of the psyche and in the body.
Why must some people apparently hit rock bottom before turning themselves around?
Why did the old patterns of eating disordered thoughts assail me right now? What triggered them? When all that is familiar was stripped away, when my heart was exposed to pain and stress, I believe it searched for a means to distract me from the hurt. By swarming my mind with compulsive thoughts, the loss of my husband's presence was not so sharp.