By Angie Lewis
This is what I call thinking and living in a box. Ironically, it is those who believe they themselves are independent minded that do not see how a woman so different from their own way of living can also be independent thinking too. The world has been filled up to their ears about how stay at home moms cannot be independent people! Or how a Christian woman who submits to her husband cannot think on her own free will. “Poor thing, she must be really dependent on her husband.” Not!
Peek out of your box, people, and see for yourself, there is another way to think independently and not have to have a career. Closed mindedness does not give the mind any independence to think outside the box. What you see is what you believe. What you have been taught is what you believe. What you have been conditioned to believe is what you believe.
I have been told that feminist will be affronted by the lifestyle I talk about in my new book, Love The Man You Married. Why is that? Well, it shows women how to love their man, and enjoy doing it too. What is so offensive about that? Are they slighted because they have experienced abuse by a man, or was controlled by a man, or maybe it is because they have been conditioned to believe that a woman is not an independent thinker unless she bosses men around and wields a little power around in her career.
I was also told in this same review that a married Christian woman who submits to her husband couldn’t be modern. Modern? I don’t understand that. I am a bit confused here. I am the most modern and contemporary person I know, and yet I still enjoy giving my husband the love he deserves. I make him feel good about who he is. That is surrendering myself to him, and it’s called loving (submission).
What is submission: Giving up selfishness and rebelliousness and becoming all of what you can be so you will be independent enough to let go and submit to another. It’s really that simple. It is so ironic, but it is those women who submit to their husbands freely and lovingly that are the most independent minded! Why is that? These women are not dependent upon things or people to make them feel good about who they are.
I submit fully to my husband, and yet here I am, everyday, giving out precious pearls to those who will listen, because they are so beautiful. How could I do that if I was dependent minded and stifled by my marriage?
Career? I have a career! I don’t go out of the home to pursue it, and I don’t make a bunch of money at it, but it’s what I do, and it’s who I am. That is independence and satisfaction all rolled into one. I am blessed that I don’t have to work outside of the home.
I am not at all against a woman who is married who has to work. But if a woman is selfishly establishing herself outside of the home and leaving husband and children behind to tend to themselves, then yes, it is not right. Our families need us!
A married Christian woman is independent minded under the standards of God’s word. Her independence does not harm others in any way, but instead she reaps the benefits of a healthy and happy family. Her independence has freed her mind to the point that she is not threatened by a man, or by marriage or by submission, or by not having a career. She is full and whole in life through the spirituality within her. She is free to be who it is she is without worrying about being something other than what God intended her to be.
The career minded married woman, on the other hand is independent minded under the foundations of society. She is always striving to be something that she is not. This form of thinking is not whole, it is selfish and shallow, and is boxed in by the standards of society. In all actuality she is dependent upon the changes of society to give her the independence she so craves to keep her feeling good about herself. Independent thinking is not bossing men around, being in power, and having a career. That is what dependent minded people think because they are actually living in a box.
Once the independent minded married Christian woman becomes who it is that she is, her life flows freely and peaceful like a sparkling clear river with pearls lining the bottom. At each phase of her life she grabs a handful of pearls and throws them out into the world. Those that understand their meaning grab the pearls and make a necklace out of them and hang them around their neck. Those who do not understand think they are garbage and leave them on the ground where they landed.
A Christian woman’s mind grows spiritually with God, but yet, nothing ever changes with God’s word, and it stays as magnificent as ever. Her independent thinking is richly blessed because it remains the same all the time, which gives her the stability and consistency to love her husband and children properly. Because she is a free to think independently and not be dependent upon husband, career, children, money or friends to fill her up, she actually fills everyone else up!
So yes, a married, Christian woman who submits to her husband, and who does not work out of the home, can be independent thinking. Peek out of the box and see that not all women who stay home to raise babies are living in the dark ages. Come on out and take a walk around the block and see for yourself that you really can be independent minded and love the man you married at the same time.
Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books. “Journey on the Roads Less Traveled”, a book about love, life, addiction, and marriage.”Love The Man You Married. This book tackles areas in marriage that couples need to know and understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness. For more information on these books visit Angie’s website and signup for the free monthly newsletter while you’re there! http://www.heavenministries.com