By Tokunbo Emmanuel
Societies all over the world are evolving. More and more, marriage is being seen as an unnecessary union and pre-marital abstinence in many circles sounds archaic. The questions is “What’s wrong with two people living together as friends without getting married and sleeping with each other?” Why commit to a particular person for life? To others, why should it be a commitment to an opposite sex, when you can get some sort of sexual satisfaction through a person of same gender? And such don’t mind seeking marital status to gain certain economic benefits in nations where benefits were already attached to regular, God ordained and nature supporting heterosexual marriage.
Even in once very conservative societies especially in Africa, sex is being demystified. It is fast becoming free for all, separated from marriage, which is fast becoming nothing beyond the social events and the ‘vain glory’ surrounding the wedding; while the vows and the commitments to each other are tucked away amidst the jungle of events and made to be as brief as possible. That isn’t the main issue anymore.
With marriage losing is honor, so society is losing its too.
You’ll expect difference among Christians who have a holy writ to follow….but it is isn’t so. The same trend is eating away into the very moral fabric of the church like a bad worm.
My friend and brother, a pastor, called me yesterday sharing a burden on the deplorable state of morality amongst so called Christians. How something should be done about it…
And just this morning, I read a post on facebook saying God hasn’t created someone who will wait for his or her spouse till marriage before having sex…
Sex outside marriage is being trivialized to the detriment of society because it is attached to many other values.
Marriage is being made too high to be attained through wedding expenses and it’s gradually becoming an achievement to wed…without such deterrents against premarital sex and so it looks as if it is marriage that is unnecessary.
To the facebook post and some comments that followed from those who look religious, I had this reply which I feel is worth considering by all.
Maybe if we starts putting forth reasons and making people see the harm we collectively suffer through the culture that don’t mind or have respect for others in our society, we can salvage some morals and decorum!
My reply comment goes thus:
“Unfortunately, fornication is no more seen as a sin among Christians, no wonder, adultery too has come to mean nothing!
If the Creator saw it as impossible to hold one’s sexual urges till marriage, He won’t say fornication is a sin.
People who have reasons not to honor marriage before getting ‘married’ will also have plenty of reasons not to honor it after marriage.
If the person you want is the one who don’t put premium on your marriage now, don’t query him or her when she or he goes gaga after tying the nuptial knot.
Anyone, who don’t have respect for God and His word can never have true respect for small you, don’t rate yourself too highly. If he or she can ‘bullshit’ God, you are too small for him or her to mess up big time.
We don’t need to become animals that God hasn’t made us…we are made in God’s image, we don’t have to make ourselves less by ‘choice’
Meanwhile, you get whatever you ask for. If you ask for a guy or gal who sees marriage more than the wedding, who believes in the honor of the marital bed…who will remain true…God will give you…
God will also give you your type. If you want to be randy, jumping from one bed to another like a he-goat…you should expect a dog too as partner.
Whoever wont mind sleeping with you before marriage will sleep with some others under some other excuses.
When we stop seeing keeping virginity as a virtue, we lose virtue in every other area. Corruption becomes the order. We steal other people’s belongings, we drive not minding other drivers, we steal government moneys because the brains have been told that nothing belongs to nobody and you can have anything if you want it, not minding who it rightly belongs to…the society becomes free for all, we throw order and decorum to the winds…
That lady, that man belongs to somebody, just like everything you see belongs to somebody…even if you don’t see the owner standing by it. God made things for different people, and put boundaries to nations…Acts 17. (Your body too doesn’t belong to you but to God, given to the wife or husband you’ll marry)
Yet, You can’t tell who your wife or husband is until you marry and even if God told you who that is…you just have to wait because you aren’t only dealing with God, the perfect, you are dealing with people too…
When we develop this sense of ownership, that things were ordained for individuals and we don’t own it all…we evolve mentally from the animal mentality of the survival of the fittest where everyone scrambles for more than what belongs to him or her…not minding if any other suffers or loses his or her valuables to you.
When marriage loses it’s value in a society, as it is gradually becoming, you will begin to see that same mentality spreading to other areas…where morality is sacrificed for selfish pursuits and self interest…that’s why a nation as mighty as the US will still have people, citizens picking from the bins to eat…the strong have it all, (the gold, the girls and the glory)…the weak has nothing and the strong sees nothing wrong about that…it is the survival of the fittest, the runts die, the animal instincts awakens within man, and predator mentality becomes king…the spirit of Cain gains where people don’t mind having what belongs to others…you don’t mind your brother’s wife…who cares? After all they aren’t married yet…
Base and ignoble thinking and mentality…no wonder, honor is nothing anymore!
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but adulterers and whoremongers God will judge…. (Hebrews 13).
It is understandable that the world is antiChrist and friendship with the world is enmity with God but if the world is doomed, the church, that’s meant to be the salt and the light of the world, the ground and the pillar of the truth must remain standing with what’s true and right at all cost.
And it is possible, through faith in the grace that is in our Lord Jesus Christ…and if we won’t stop preaching that grace that empowers against worldliness, faith in it will come by hearing the word and the power of God will answer to that faith to make it manifest.