By Olga Hermans
How to Avoid Deception With These 7 Common Thoughts in Your Marriage? What causes a Christian man or woman to leave what appears to be a solid marriage of several years for an affair with another person which cost them everything. How come? How can we avoid deception? Noah Webster defines deceived as “when a person believes what is not truth to be truth…to be misled.” Here are 7 deceptive thoughts that many believers believe to be true in every marriage.
1. “A Good MARRIAGE Is Always Exciting.”
Movies portray the romantic highs of love and reinforce the fallacy that the “in-love” feeling will last forever. And if it doesn’t…well, perhaps it’s time to move on to a “better” relationship. The real key to how to keep your marriage exciting is an act of the will, a choice to honor your commitment to another person.
The choice to remain together and work through problems often results in a renewed passion for each other and helps an OK marriage grow into a great marriage.
2. “If This Marriage Doesn’t Work Out, I Can Always Start Over With Someone Else.”
In our culture, divorce seems like such a reasonable obvious option when things aren’t going the way we had expected in marriage. No relationship is perfect. There will always be some way you’re not incompatible with your spouse.
Being married with an “out” in the back of your mind can doom your relationship.
3. “Marriage Will Fulfill My Dreams.”
While marriage is a wonderful gift from God, it is certainly not a guarantee that you always will be happy. No one person, no matter how wonderful or godly he or she is, can fulfill all of your dreams or meet all your needs. It’s impossible.
“The belief in a happily-ever-after marriage is one of the most widely held, destructive marriage myths. But it’s only the tip of the marital-myth iceberg. Every difficult marriage is plagued by misconceptions about what marriage should be.” Les and Leslie Parrot.
4. “Marriage Is Easy. I Won’t Have To Work At It.”
If a marriage is built is built to last, it also needs a love that encompasses commitment, faithfulness, communication, understanding, forgiveness, honesty, patience, time, common experiences and humor, to name just a few essentials. A loving marriage especially needs WORK!
“Couples that learn how to persevere through the tough times are the ones that emerge with even stronger relationships.” Focus on the Family
5. “My Husband Is The Only One Who Needs To Change.”
We all think that we are not “The ONE with the problem”. It is so easy to place the blame 100 percent on the other, especially if that other person has wronged you. Settling heated disagreements requires humility, along with love, a willingness to forgive and faith in God’s ability to change us. We have the inborn habit of pouncing on the negative and not noticing the positive.
6. “Having A Child Will Make Me Happy.”
It’s not that having a child won’t make a person happy. It certainly will! However, we try to fill in the blanks with anything. “Having ________ will make me happy.” More money, success, a relationship, a home, a baby!!! However, only God’s love will satisfy us for a lifetime of joy, which surpasses mere happiness. Depending on Him to satisfy the search for happiness enables us to enjoy the pleasures of life and improves our ability to be happy. A baby cannot meet that level of satisfaction.
7. “My Husband Would Never Look At PORNOGRAPHY.”
“47% of Christians admit that pornography is a major problem in their homes.” We cannot afford to be naïve when it comes to understanding the nature of sin and its addictive qualities. Let’s admit that pornography addiction can happen in Christian homes, because it does. Frequently. We must see that pornography is a true addiction. Women need to recognize that their husbands need help. Create a climate of honesty in your home so that even if your husband fails, you can pray together for victory over sin.