By Tomi Afonja
Bullying can have devastating effects on young and old ones alike. Fighting back physically is never an option. hence the need to learn how to beat a bully without using your fists.
“When I understand my enemy, I also come to love him enough to know how to deal with him”. Does that sound new? Well, no one loves a bully but you can understand him. You might wonder if there is a need for that.
Well, there is. If you understand why he bullies, then maybe you’ll come to love him enough to know how to deal with him, be it physical, verbal or social bullying.
How a Bully is formed
Bullies are formed as a result of poor parental guidance or total neglect. In homes where forcefulness and violence are prevalent and used as the only means to get what one wants, kids are likely to grow up with those same views.
To get what they want in terms of power and status, they bully others. And they might not see anything wrong in what they are doing because they grew up to believe that that’s just how things are done.
Under What Conditions Will Bullying Thrive?
Bullying thrives where there is a lack of supervision. The bullied child usually doesn’t tell on the bully because he believes that the problem will only get worse. These kids have good reason to believe so.
A study conducted at Toronto’s York University showed that only 4% of bullying incidents are noticed and stopped by teachers.
This, thus, places a need on parents. You need to teach your kids how to beat a bully – without using their fist.
Bullying at Work
This isn’t impossible. As an adult, you could have a boss with an acidic tongue or a coworker with bad schemes plotted against you. you could be getting bullied with constant criticism, negative remarks, even getting humiliated in front of other coworkers.
This could adversely affect you. Besides being less productive and developing stress-related illnesses.
It could affect your family. You might end up transferring aggression to them. You could lose your family gradually. What’s worse? You can even get in a fight and lose your job. There’s so much at stake. Hence, you need to do something about it.
How to Beat a Bully without Using your Fists
Whether you are a student or an adult, below are a few suggestions that can help you break free from any bully’s grip.
Avoid showing signs of fear or anger
Bullies thrive on your fear and anger. So do not give in to fear. Don’t give him power over you.
Get Rid of the Thought to Revenge
Revenge isn’t satisfying. If you fight with your fist, you could become just like him. Remember that two wrongs can never make a right. You stop being in the right the very day you use your fist back against him.
You need to anticipate situations that could lead to getting bullied and avoid them. This could mean avoiding secluded areas or places that are known spots for bullies.
Take your leave
When you perceive trouble, take your leave. Walking away when the situation is already upon you won’t be easy. The bullies won’t even let you. And this isn’t a sign of weakness but of strength. The kind of strength the bully doesn’t have.
Be bold enough to speak up if the bully doesn’t stop disturbing you. Look him in the eye and speak in a firm but leveled voice. Don’t insult him. Just state what he does that is wrong, how you don’t like it and how it hurts.
Being humorous can help diffuse a tense situation. You can try that. Divert conversation. Laugh even at yourself. It won’t hurt so much. Trust me.
Talk to a responsible adult
This could be your parents. They can intervene on your behalf. This doesn’t make you a cry baby. It means you are mature enough to know when you can’t handle it alone.
Teach your kids how to assume the right posture in standing up to a bully. Teach them how to make eye contact, be relaxed, speak firmly, and when to walk away.
If these suggestions can be implemented, you’ll have beaten the bully hands down without your fists.
It’s not easy but trust me, it will work.