By Ngozi Nwoke
Family pressure is what we all experience at one time or another but our response or reaction determines what follows next. If we respond well, we defeat the plan of the enemy but if we react to it then we will have to exercise more energy to get things back to original lovely state. This article tells us how to deal with family pressure.
Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. (Proverbs 24:3-4 NKJV)
And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18 NKJV)
What is pressure?
The dictionary defines it as the act of pressing or a state of demanding notice or attention. It can also be defined as an oppressive condition of physical, mental, social or economic distress.
What is Family Pressure?
It can therefore be defined as pressure coming from the family members or on a family.
As a wife and mother, I can imagine some of the causes of this pressure.
Lack of gainful employment
Challenges from the office
Desire to engage in self improvement
Demands from your children
Responsibilities as a wife, mother and a homemaker
External causes- extended family issues
Children’s school breaks
What do you do? Everything and everybody is pressing and pressing; asking for attention, and some of them may have started oppressing you spiritually, physically, mentally, socially or economically.
What do you do?
Start by understanding your purpose in the family and prioritizing your responsibilities according to God’s standard.
The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is a perfect example for you. Her secrets were wisdom, diligence and fear of The Lord. These three can deflate any pressure on your life.
As a married woman I believe your priority should be first your relationship with God, secondly husband and children, and lastly others – any other assignment from God, our businesses, careers etc.
Women are made in such a way that once your relationship with God is intact you have the strength, ability to do so many things at the same time and still be at your best without pressure.
When you seek God’s wisdom, knowledge and understanding, everyday will come and pass and you will be smiling and laughing throughout the day, even though you would have done a lot of things during the day.
Always bear in mind you are a helpmate to your husband, so the money you are making or you want to make is to help him! And so should not take the place of more important things in the family.
How do you deal with family pressure?
1. Don’t play with your prayer and study life. Once they start diving down, your life will start diving down and pressure will start mounting high. Your strength, peace, joy, wisdom, knowledge and understanding will always come from there.
2. Focus on building your home- relationship with husband and children. These are your primary assignments from God for which you will give account to Him. Peaceful home will always help you to deflate any pressure coming upon you. Your success as a wife and a mother will give you joy and satisfaction that nothing else can give you, and it will still be speaking for you even when you can’t do much for yourself anymore.
3. Find something to do that will not tamper with the first two. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop they say. When you have nothing doing, that is when the enemy will be suggesting wrong things to you. You will have time to dwell on trivial matters that will build up pressure in your life. However, always remember the responsibility to provide for the family lies on your husband. Whatever money you are earning is just to support him as his helper. Therefore don’t allow financial issues to be a burden to you.
4. Maximize your 24 hours. If you can make a priority list of what you must do per day a night before and follow it, it will be good. It should be realistic and workable. Don’t be rigid on yourself, if you succeed in doing them all praise God, otherwise still praise God. Tomorrow you will do better.
5. Have an agreement with your husband on where to place extended family members and how they should be treated and use wisdom in relating with all. Remember you are an extended family member to someone too. So treat them the way you would want them to treat you.
6. Try as much as possible not to carry office work to the house. As you are leaving your office drop everything and even clear your mind of any undone assignment, tomorrow you’ll continue. After all if anything happens to you (God forbid) your office will still be running and be waxing stronger.
7. Make room for your children’s holidays. Yes, you had a perfect working program while they were going to school and now, it is as if everything is about to be scattered. Don’t worry, just make a little adjustment and include the holiday. Make out time to be with these kids. Remember it’s just for few weeks. Very soon they will be done with school and they will become visitors to your house, so make the most of this time now. Sow your seeds that will speak for you later. See those weeks as your investment time for your future. Don’t waste them. And if you must leave them for a while, make good alternatives for them. God will help you.
8. Whatever else you may desire to do, you can always seek for God’s guidance and direction. Weigh every detail of it and be sure it is the right timing for it and that you can cope with the addition without mounting pressure on yourself and your family, even if it means furthering your education when your children are done with school. Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt at the age of 80 and Caleb was still able to go to war and secure the inheritance for his family at 80 too. Therefore, as long as there is life you can still achieve your heart desires; only do the first things first. Wisdom is profitable to direct you.
There is nothing new under the sun. The challenges you are passing through now many people have gone through it. Some came out as victors while some came out as victims, the same scenario but different approaches and of course different outcome.
Decide today that no matter what, you will come out a victor and not a victim and God will perfect it for you in Jesus name.
Ngozi Nwoke Is a teacher and a counselor. A product and distributor of love. She has a passion to teach people how to enjoy God’s love and fellowship for more fulfilling life. Want more fulfilling life? subscribe for free email updates today. http://stepswithgod.com.