By Tesh Njokanma
A heading like this can create different kinds of reactions. Curiosity in the minds of some people. Controversial discussions amongst some people. While some others may be stunned to see a heading like this. The reason being that a lot of people believe sex isn’t something a Holy and Righteous God has any interest in. But you will be surprised, very surprised to know that God is highly interested in your sexual life. But before I go into that, I would like to correct a misconception quite a number of people have about prayer.
When it comes to prayer, we need to understand that there’s no aspect of our lives that is too small or too big or too mundane and trivial to bring before God. God is concerned with the totality of our being.
Philippians 4:6-7 says “do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. This scripture encourages us to pray about EVERYTHING; to commit every aspect of our lives to God, to openly discuss issues that affect us with our ever loving and understanding God. Note what Philippians 4:6-7 says. According to this scripture, it is after you have prayed about everything; it is after you have brought the details of your life no matter how routine, ordinary or inconsequential to God, that you can experience peace like a river. Any area of your life that is not covered with prayer is open to turbulence, fear, anxiety, worry, heartache, and of course, satanic attack. The devil not only attacks people’s health and finances, even a person’s sexual life if you don’t take it to the Lord in prayer, can come under severe satanic attack.
Having established the fact that you can pray about everything including your sexual life, the question then is how do you come before a Holy God and start talking to Him about sexual issues?
Here are four major things about sex that we should earnestly pray about:
1. For total deliverance from past sexual sins:
Our past if not properly dealt with can have a negative effect on our lives. The past can keep you from stepping into the future with strength and confidence. God doesn’t want us to live in the past or be hindered by our past. He wants us to be completely free from our past and whatever sexual sins we committed in the past.
The consequences of sexual sins are grave. Probably because sexual sins fall into the category of acts that have a strong effect on the human body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says “he who sins sexually sins against his own body”. The dwelling place of the Holy Spirit is your body. Your body is His temple. Sexual sins have a way of contaminating our bodies, the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). That’s why you have to be very careful with what you do with your body.
Here’s a list of sexual sins the Bible mentions which you need to come out of if you are presently engaging in, or seek divine mercy, cleansing and deliverance from if you had at any time fallen for any of these sins:
Lustful thoughts – Matthew 5:28, James 1:14-15
Fornication (Premarital sex) – 1 Corinthians 6:9, 18, 1 Corinthians 10:8
Adultery (Extra-marital sex) – Proverbs 6:24-26, Galatians 5:19, Hebrews 13:14
Pornography – Psalm 101:3, Psalm 119:37, Matthew 6:22-23, Ephesians 2:3
Incest – (Sexual relations between close relatives)- Genesis 19:30-38, 1 Corinthians 5:1-2
Masturbation – (I know this is controversial because the word masturbation isn’t directly mentioned in the Bible, but it is clear from scripture that God never intended for us to be the ones to personally provide ourselves with sexual pleasure and excitement. It is within the confines of marriage and by one’s spouse that God designed for us to receive and enjoy sexual pleasure) -Ephesians 5:12, Colossians 3:5
Homosexuality – Leviticus 18:22, Genesis 19:4-11, Judges 19:22-23, Romans 1:26-27
Prostitution – Leviticus 19:29, Ephesians 5:5, Revelation 21:8
Group Sex/Orgies – Galatians 5:21
Rape – 2 Samuel 13:10-14, Judges 19:25
Bestiality – (Sexual Relations with an animal) Leviticus 18:23
Voyeurism – (receiving sexual pleasure from secretly peeping at naked people or watching other people engage in sexual relations) Genesis 9:20-27.
These are all sins one shouldn’t toy with. Their effects can be disastrous. They affect not only you but your generation and bloodline. Some people have difficulty staying faithful to their spouses because unfaithfulness, promiscuity, adultery can be traced down their ancestry.
Thank God for the blood, the precious blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus can redeem and set us free from every hold and captivity to sexual sins. The blood of Jesus serves as a corrective fluid and restorative agent; restoring back to us weeks, months and even years that have been wasted indulging in harmful, immoral acts. To receive complete deliverance from past sexual sins, the first step is to acknowledge that it was a sin against God to indulge in any of the sexual acts listed above. Then say this prayer: ‘Father, look upon me with mercy and forgive me for every sexual sin I have committed. I pray that whatever the devil has planted in my life through sexual sins be uprooted now. I cover my past in the blood of Jesus and receive total cleansing and freedom from past sexual sins. My past no matter how dirty and ugly cannot hold me down. I am covered in the blood of Jesus. I have been set free from the grip of sexual sins. I break every stronghold of immorality in my life. I walk in the liberty I have received through our Lord Jesus Christ to be who God created me to be.
I declare and decree that I am free, free indeed!’
2. For grace and strength to resist sexual temptations:
The reality of the times we live in is that sexual temptation is now ever so intense. If as far back as in Biblical times, places like Sodom and Gomorrah were rife with adultery, fornication and homosexuality, then what we are dealing with today is no child’s play. Now, more than ever before, the devil is out to get people to fall in this area. Sexual temptation is everywhere. It’s in our offices, in our children’s schools, in the church, on the streets, all over the internet, in front of our television sets, on the pages of so many books and magazines and in the lyrics of many popular songs. And the temptation cuts across every gender and age group. Adults as well as children, men as well as women, singles as well as married people are daily being confronted with sexual temptation.
This is why we need to go to God to shield us from every form of sexual temptation. We need to pray ‘O Lord, shield me and every member of my family from sexual temptation. Help us not to fall in this area. Remove from our lives everything and everyone that can lure us into sexual sin. Let your fear be in our hearts at all times and in all places. Increase our love for you so we are more concerned with pleasing you than in satisfying our flesh. Take over my weaknesses. Don’t let me fall into any sexual trap that has been hidden for me. Open my eyes O Lord to see the escape route you have already provided for every temptation that comes my way. Make me a victor not a victim’.
3. For divine wisdom to discuss sexual issues with your children and your spouse:
Most of what children know and discover about sex is hardly ever from their parents. The result is that many grow up with a faulty perception of sex which they have acquired from friends, films, the internet or books. The major reason why parents don’t discuss sex with their children or even their spouses is because over the years, the devil has sold us a lie that it is wrong to discuss sexual issues; that sex is not something you openly talk about, that only loose, immoral and wayward people talk about sex.
But did you notice that the Most High, the One who is Holy, Holy, Lord God, Almighty, the One in whom there is no impure thought or deed, boldly and unashamedly talks to us His children about sexual issues in His Word. God’s word is full of warnings, exhortations and practical advice on sexual matters. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, He advices us to “flee from sexual immorality”. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, He exhorts us to exercise control over our bodies and passions. In Proverbs 5:18-20, He encourages men to be intimate, affectionate and loyal to their wives. “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice, in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer may her breast satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated with her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?” Then in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, He appeals to married people to regularly, lovingly and mutually give one another sexual pleasure.
No child of God can fault our Father in heaven for not giving us adequate information on sexual matters. But can our children say the same thing about us? From what source have we left our children to acquire the information and ideas they have about sex?
Sex is such a sensitive issue to discuss. However, it needs to be discussed at some point if we are going to enjoy good family relationships. That’s why we need to pray, ‘Lord, fill me with divine wisdom. The divine wisdom I need to know the appropriate time to bring up and discuss sexual issues with my spouse and children release unto me. Give me words that will guide my children aright and keep them from being confused, corrupted or led astray by sexual temptation. Let there be no sexual deception between my spouse and I. Help us to say only those things that will improve not damage our sexual relationship with one another’.
4. For God to bless your marriage bed:
It’s a common complaint amongst married people. The men complain that they never get enough sex. The women on the other hand complain that their husbands want sex too often. Doesn’t sound so complicated on paper, but in actual practice, this complaint brings a lot of confusion into marriages and can tear couples apart.
God is not an author of confusion. He instituted marriage (Genesis 2:19-25). He developed sex as a means of procreation and for pleasure (Genesis 4:1, Malachi 2:15, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). So why all the confusion in marriages? Why all the sexual disinterest and dissatisfaction amongst couples? If there’s a problem, the problem is not from God, the problem is from us that’s why married people need to pray, ‘Lord God, give me a clearer and better understanding of your purpose for sex in marriage. If the sexual issues I am facing in my marriage are a result of a wrong mindset, change my mindset today. Change my thinking to align with what your Word says about sex. Remove every form of selfishness on my part which is affecting my sexual relationship with my spouse. I break every yoke of sickness and diseases over my life. Give me a strong, healthy body and fill me with the divine strength and ability I need to satisfy my partner. Destroy every faulty sexual foundation I have been building my marriage on. Help me to forgive and let go of past hurts and mistakes which have been affecting my sexual relationship with my spouse. Come into our marriage bed in a special and new way. Let the wind of your Spirit blow out of our matrimonial bed everything you have not planted there. Do a new thing in my marriage that will deepen our love for one another and cause the wine in our marriage to never run out’.
Don’t be shy or afraid to say these prayers. They are prayers that God will hear and answer. May He answer you today and set you free from every form of sexual bondage and cause you to begin to enjoy a renewed relationship with your spouse.
Tesh Njokanma is a lawyer by training whose heart is in writing. She is a prolific writer with over 15 years experience as a magazine Editor. She is a pastor in the Redeemed Christian Church of God with a prayer and teaching ministry. Tesh is married with children – www.teshnwritings.com.