To the outside world, her husband often appears charming, a hard worker, dedicated to his family. But his desperation to look that way is so highly important to him that he carefully prunes the image in public
Instead of stopping to reevaluate her life, Holland continued her romantic pursuits, spending the next two years going to clubs with friends. It was never a sexual thing, she says, but a desire to be found special and desirable. Though by now she distrusted men, she felt she was living a fairy tale in search of Prince Charming, thinking that finding the right mate would complete her.