Think about the reason you are trying to be in control. Because there is so much going on in your life. How silly of us is it to want to, and try to, be more in control during these craziest of times? As if we don't have enough to do by simply trying to keep our heads on straight and get from one day to the next.
We live in pride. Our attempts to help our hurting brethren are often based upon a sense of personal satisfaction rather than the need to alleviate the emotional struggles of our friends. Rather than address an emotional sickness with sound doctrine, we seek to come on as a wise and gentle friend.