By Noreen M. Sumpter
Each and every one of us was put on this earth to do something. It doesn’t have to be saving the world; you don’t have to find a cure for cancer, you just have to know what it is you want for yourself and your life. So it is your birthright to get on with it.
Many people fear what they want to do; they believe that one is really happy in their life when happiness is measured by a percentage of about 75-90%. They’re afraid of what people will think of them. They have no idea what their life could look like if they had the whole 100% happiness they are seeking. So they live their lives doing what they think their friends and families want them to do. No going after what they want because they are afraid of what their parents, family, friends, and even strangers might think of them. They do things to please other people and neglect themselves. They have careers they don’t want and are miserable with the other 10%.
Do what you want to do and be truly happy. Who cares what people think of you. It’s no one’s business what you choose to do. Make sure that what you do is as great as you believe it to be; no one has to agree or disagree with it. Just be committed to providing a contribution and your happiness is already fulfilled. The truth is that people think all sorts of things and very few of those thoughts will be about you.
What I’ve discovered is that most people want to make a contribution to others. It’s always described as, “I want to help people. I want to teach people and I want to make people happy.” It’s always for other people. It’s important that we understand what we share. In order to share, we have to have. So to give happy, you must be happy so you can share happy.
Sitting & Listening
I had the pleasure of sitting for an artist who is unbelievably exciting! The artist is a woman, in her sixties, who paints men and women in the nude. Being painted in the nude is the epitome of full disclosure. When I met this extremely talented woman, she was feeling very unhappy, unproductive, and stuck. I listened to her talk about her life and her art and it all sounded very exciting to me.
She spoke of herself as a woman that had marched to the beat of her own drum; lived a life filled with passion and pleasure and has made a contribution with her art to heal people and free them from their self loathing issues, caused by various negative experiences.
As she described how she was feeling, she was able to discover that her unhappiness was caused by a belief. The belief was what a friend and colleague had once said about her who she highly respected. Basically, she didn’t allow this person to have an opinion. She realized that what her colleague had said about her work was none of his business and she, unfortunately, had believed his opinion to be her truth.
In a single moment, this woman, like many others, was killing herself off. She wasn’t being an artist; she wasn’t being successful or vibrant. She became doubtful, fearful, scared, and wasn’t minding her own business. By not minding her own business, she was minding the business of her friend that she had allowed to hex her. This hexing had ripped the passion out of her life and was robbing her of her vibrancy on a moment-to-moment basis. She felt that she couldn’t paint. That her creativity was gone. She was lost and slowly going into energy and financial bankruptcy. How can a woman that had had a vibrant life all of a sudden have a sense of loss and lose her creativity? Well, when you don’t mind your business closely, you allow other people’s thoughts and opinions rob you of your passion. If hexing someone was a crime, many people would be found guilty.
You don’t want people you love and respect to say anything to you that appears negative. However, people, just like you, have the right to say anything they want and you also have the right to listen or not. Where you get caught and hooked is when people say negative things about you. Simple example: Your friend says, ” I don’t like that painting.” You interpret it as, “I’m not a good artist,” and, “I can’t create,” and it goes on and on. So now you walk around with that belief. “I’m not a good artist,” “I can’t paint,” “I have no creativity,” and, “no one will buy my work”. The belief gets bigger and bigger and you, in turn, get smaller and smaller; you begin to feel insecure and shut down.
It’s important to learn that what people say is none of your business. Your business is your life, your own thoughts about yourself. It’s important that you develop the tools to expand your thoughts about you. It’s important that you remain positive and understand that these sorts of statements/comments are not personal to you. That is what happened with this woman. She forgot who or what she was up to in her life. She forgot that art inspired her life and the life of the people who bought her art. She forgot that she had a mission; her, in her world, and that, and only that, was her business.
When we learn that it’s none of your business what others say or think about you, you can say thank you for your opinion and mean it. Your life expands and you go back to the business of fulfilling our life mission.
The learning is: IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT OTHERS THINK.
Noreen Sumpter is a Confidence Coach with a passion for helping people. Learn more about what she does at: http://www.noreensumptercoach.com/confidence-coach.