By Bunmi Ajagunna
I didn’t realize how bad things had gone until I found myself scouting for coins in the pockets of jackets and jeans around the house to get enough to buy water for the house. How did we get so low? Where did we go wrong? Bills had piled up, debtors were constantly calling and there was no doubt we needed help.
How could we reach out for help when we were the ones others cried to in their time of need? Where would we go? To whom should we turn to? All hope seemed lost and it was like hell had broken loose. This was not a sudden change, it had gradually graduated to this point. We knew we were reaching our whit’s end. I needed strength, supernatural strength. Thoughts ran through my head as I began to retrace my previous decisions. Did we make a mistake to follow God wholeheartedly and leave every earthly thing behind? For how long will this continue, when will God manifest His power?
At this moment it felt like I was about to explode. I needed to be alone. So, I immediately drove the car out. Not knowing exactly what was going to happen next, I yelled my throat dry crying “Lord, where are you? I need you desperately right now”. I caught the glimpse of stares from other fellow drivers but I cared less about what they thought of me. Things weren’t just adding up and I just didn’t understand why. On the drive back home, as I sobered up, I got a whatsapp message from a cousin Pastor which read:
“Hi. I have had so many good dreams about you in the last few weeks. I am sure things are working out very well for you…Don’t be downcast. I don’t think the details are important, but I know He is about to do something great through you. It will affect the ministry and things will really flourish. Be joyful; be thankful and know that He has always had your back. You are where He wants you. You will be really fulfilled. It was multiple dreams. It is settled in Jesus name.”
More tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the message. God had responded to me in an instant. He showed me how real He was, is and will always be. He confirmed His word that He will never leave me nor forsake me. Though I didn’t get a result to my prayers in an instant, I was assured that He still had my back and was watching over me, regardless. I was confident that I will see the result when He decides it’s the right time.
There are many times, we feel alone in the world. Depression, worry, anxiety, pain, fear and sometimes suicidal thoughts begin to set in. I know the feeling. I have been there. But I rest, assured that, though you may not see an instant result, God will remain constant. Today, I stand as a testimony to appreciate Him for the journey He took me through. It seemed rocky (very rocky) at the time, but I thank Him for bringing me out of it in His time. For, in His time, He makes all things beautiful.